MURICA! For real though, this apple pie tastes, like, store-bought fake. This was one of those moments where I was like a proud Phoody parent, and my pie son just graduated with honors. I thought about this pie for a couple weeks (because I’m that obsessive). Did I want a lattice crust? Did I was raisins inside? Should I do fried hand-pies? What kind of crust should I do? What kind of apples should I use? Should I do a lemon back? Or maybe more of a salted carmel version?

In the end I decided simple was better, and designed a pie that is as perfect as it is on the 4th of July as it is at Thanksgiving dinner. Not gonna lie, it takes a little love, patience, and time. But the end result is SO worth it.

Prep time: 1 hour

Cook time: 30-45 minutes

Please note, this recipe will yield 2 pies. I find as a rule of life, it’s always good to have a backup pie.

Ingredients:

For the crust…My family has always sworn by the tried and true 3:2:1 pie dough ratio (flour:fat:water), which is good, don’t get me wrong. But today, I wanted something new, and I loved the end result. On a more serious note…I hate working with pie crust more than you will ever know. It’s like a belligerent child…

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup vegetable shortening
• 0.75 t. salt
• 1 egg
• 1 T. white vinegar
• 2 T. ice water

The Filling…easy peasy.

• A ton of Granny Smith Apples (=approximately 15-20 apples)
• 2 lemons
• 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 0.5 cups white sugar
• 1 t. ground cinnamon
• 0.5 t. salt
• 0.5 t. nutmeg
• 10 T. corn starch

For the topping…we already got crust on the bottom…let’s get some contrast for the top. Plus, I HATE working with pie crust.

• 14 T. butter (remember…two pies…and who said anything about healthy)
• 1.5 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 0.5-0.75 cups chopped pecans
• 0.5 t. salt

Preparation:

1) Get the dough prepped first and set it aside in the freezer for 20 minutes while you prep the rest of the ingredients.

2) In a mixing bowl, add flour and salt and mix well.

3) Add shortening. Now here is where you separate the men from the men who can’t make pies. If you have a pie dough blade (consider yourself lucky, because I DON’T), mix in the shortening until it begins to clump into little balls with the flour. DO NOT mix it completely…this will result in very dense greasy pie dough. We’re going for soft and flaky here. You can also use a fork, and be annoyed the entire time.

4) In a separate bowl, mix the wet ingredients well. Don’t worry…the vinegar will cook off. Your pie won’t smell like vinegar, I promise.

5) Pour liquid mixture over dry mixture evenly, and begin to mix with blade or fork.

6) When it begins clumping into a ball, use your hands to get all the leftover dough crumbles and get it into one large ball. Do not knead, just get it all stuck together…leave no man behind.

7) Cut into two equal-sized dough balls and wrap in plastic wrap.

8) Store in freezer while preparing the other ingredients. You’ll notice a lack of pictures up to this point…that’s because pie dough stresses me out, and I forgot to take the pictures…sorry. 

9) Start your filling by coring and peeling all of your Granny Smith Apples. It’ll take a minute, so if you have someone else you can pawn this off on, I highly suggest it. Pull out all the stops when convincing him/her that he/she really WANTS to do it.

10) Use a mandolin slicer to cut apples into 0.25″ rings. USE YOUR FINGER GUARD. Seriously, if I could do PSAs for mandolin finger guards, I would. You are NOT the iron chef, and you will eventually cut yourself…trust me…I have the scar to prove it. If you don’t have a mandolin, just use a knife…or whatever you have that will get the job done.

11) Add the apples to a stock pot.

12) Add the rest of your ingredients to the stock pot and start on medium high heat.

13) Add zest and juice of both lemons to the pot.

14) Allow to cook until apples are more tender, but NOT mushy. They should still have a little crisp to them. The mixture should be slightly shiny, and start to thicken…don’t worry if it still seems a little too runny, the 10 T of corn start will thicken as the pie cooks.

15) Pull off heat.

16) Bring dough out of freezer and place onto a lightly floured countertop. Using a floured rolling pin and your large pink meat hooks, roll both doughs out for the bottom of your pies. Roll the pie dough up around the rolling pin for ease of placement into pie pan.

17) Once covering the entire bottom of the pan, crimp the edges how you desire.

18) Once pie dough is set how you want it, transfer half of the apple mixture into each of your pie pans.

19) In a food processor, add all of the ingredients for the topping. Place your food processor as close to the edge of the counter as possible because you like to live on the edge, and pulse until crumbly.

20) Place crumb topping on top of each pie covering the top completely.

21) Place pie in a 350°F oven for 30-45 minutes until crust and topping are golden brown.

22) Serve hot or at room temperature…it’s great either way.

23) Pair with my Toasted Almond and Honey Ice Cream (see post).

MURICA!

– The Phoody